A Gratitude Never Comes Late…

May 15, 2014

 

Today is Father’s Day! It might sounds strange, but I didn’t know about Father’s Day earlier. Until this June… It’s amazing, that such a special day exists! My Farther passed away four years ago.Today as at many other days I repeat these words: “Dear Dad, I am grateful for everything you did for me. I feel blessed to be loved and tough by you. I wish I would be wise enough to start telling you about my love and gratitude many-many years before, so you could hear these words more often…”

 

Blog-1_Picture-1This sunny and warm afternoon I was looking at some pictures in our old family album.  There is a photo of Father dated 1947. I love it very much. He was 31 then, and I would guess, hi didn’t have any ideas that in 15 years later his youngest daughter would be born. And his little girl, who came to this world unexpectedly, would be brave enough to become the first published author in our family. Surprisingly, it also happened unexpectedly…

 

In less than two weeks the first book (it’s already published in USA) to which I contributed my chapter is going to be globally released. Though my story touches many aspects of life, obviously, one of its key themes is about discovering a true and valuable gift within the relationships with my Father… This story is my belated gratitude for my Further – he did so much for me!

I invite you to read my whole story here

But now, I’d like to share you with a part of the published story. Just take a few minutes to keep reading…

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… Opening the hidden wisdom of my story did not come immediately. It took time, energy, and courage to reframe my past and present. First I had to accept the initial story as a fact. Then I learned how to forgive my parents, especially my father, for divulging “the truth about my birth.” Last, I had to do my own inner work to find a new meaning for my story instead of being poisoned by the old one.

 

One bright, sunny afternoon in early May of 2011, I was sitting on the waterfront in San Diego looking at the distant horizon merging with the azure sky and the ocean. For the first time in my life, and in spite of knowing that he would be unable to read my words, I wrote a letter to my late father. My father, whom I loved and feared at the same time; whom I respected and valued for a strong character and a kind heart; whom I was gravitating to and running from; from whom I was hiding my dreams and thoughts; and from whom I was waiting for recognition of my skills and achievements. In a recent meditation I had surprisingly seen him as a little boy who had not received enough love and appreciation from his own family.

 

A Gratitude Never Comes Late...I asked him about the belated forgiveness – for my long-standing grudge, coldness, detachment, reluctance, and unwillingness to open my heart; for my inability to be a truly caring daughter; for all my unspoken gratitude – he did so much for me!

A series of memorable moments flashed in my mind…

 

My father raising me up in the air while I was sitting on a small chair. It was my seventh birthday, and, per family tradition, he helped me “fly to the sky” seven times…

His knocking on the door of my room in the student dormitory. He had brought a baked chicken and a sack of recently harvested potatoes from home for me…

Another time he was holding on his lap my only daughter, his youngest granddaughter, named after my mother…

One heartbreaking day he was hugging me and crying with me – he understood and shared my pain, as six years before he had lost his wife, my mother, and two days before I had just lost my husband.

 

With sincere words of forgiveness, gratitude, and boundless light and love, I was letting go of my old pain. I was re-experiencing the joy and care that had been hidden from my awareness in the shadow of my story. Being willing to earn attention, approval, acceptance, and love, first from the closest people in the family and then from other people in different life contexts, helped me become the person I am now. I learned to be sensitive to relationships, and to feel and understand other people’s emotions. I learned to accept people as they are and see in others hidden, unrealized abilities; and most important, to see the inner child who lives in each of us.

 

My old childhood story began getting a new meaning, but the most valuable awareness was still waiting for me to discover.

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Are you interested to read the whole story?

 

I am glad to offer you as my special GIFT. Please get it right now!